Right so im walking home and I see this guy rolling a cigarette under a streetlamp and when he clicked his lighter THE FUCKING STREETLIGHT WENT OUT
I stopped in my tracks and stared at this guy who looks up at me then to his lighter and hes as surprised as me then he takes his thumb off the trigger and THE STREETLIGHT TURNS BACK ON
HE GAVE THE MOST SURPRISED LOOK OF ANYONE EVER AND THEN SHOUTED “LATER MUGGLES” AND FUCKING RAN OFF
AM I DREAMING
i was checking out at target and this guy was being really flirty with me and his nametag said rosemarie so when i left i said “have a good night rosemarie” and he said “rosemarie??” and i pointed to his nametag and he said fuck very loud then said “they are always fucking doing this to me”
You actually don’t even have to introduce yourself if you don’t want to, i don’t need an a/s/l, we don’t have to do the “hey whats up” “not much you?” thing, you can just say “so at school yesterday this idiot said…” in my ask box and I will gladly converse with you. Like seriously I will just talk to you like we’re best friends.
If you ever feel like you’re a bad driver remember that in the entire state of Ohio in 1895 there were only two cars on the road and the drivers of those two cars crashed into each other
When I was like 8 I was playing dolls with an older kid and she told me to make a baby you have to have sex ad to have sex you have to touch each others privates so for like 4 years I though sex was a guy touching my boobs while I touched his penis.
lately ive been noticing a lot of girls have awful self esteem and body image issues, i want to try an experiment. reblog this if you feel negatively about yourself in any way.
so my mom went inside quicktrip and this guy who was like 20 poked his head through the driver side window and asked me if i would ever drink with a nun and ran off
the year is 2053. a girl lays on her bed wearing vintage ugg boots. ‘I was born in the wrong generation’ she sighs as she listens to taylor swift and cries over a one direction poster.
some kids are actually gonna be like this you do realize that
and watching the old reruns of the shows we watch today
“the old supernatural is so much better than the new supernatural, dean’s son is not as hot as his dad used to be.”
Mum just came home with nearly 50 fucking cartons of milk I thought this maths problem shit was a tumblr joke I didn’t think fuckery like this legitimately took place
no girls allowed
you’re really milking this joke, sean